Not sure what to do with or for your valentine today? Here's an article that can help you fine tune appropriate Valentine's Day approaches toward your special someone. 
Surveys show that couples exchange 36 million boxes of chocolates  and 189 million roses on Valentine’s Day. But when you’re in a new  relationship, chocolates and roses may not always be the right gift to  give. “Valentine’s Day means different things to different people,” says  Toni Coleman, a licensed clinical social worker in McLean, VA and  founder of www.consum-mate.com, a relationship counseling website.  “Doing too much or too little when the other person doesn’t feel the  same way about February 14th could spell trouble for a new  relationship.”  
If you’re unsure how to handle Valentine’s Day dating and gift  etiquette, read on for advice for when you’ve just met someone, when  you’ve been dating for a few months and when you’re in a committed  relationship. 
When you have just met someone
Planning the day: It’s unrealistic to expect a big, romantic  celebration at this stage of the game. “If you’ve had a date or two,  it’s OK for one of you to say, ‘Hey, Valentine’s Day is coming up, and  even though we’ve only gone out a few times, I thought it would be fun  to do something together, like catch a movie.’ If the other person wants  to do that, that’s great,” says Coleman. However, if the other person  hems and haws, you should back off and schedule a date for a different  day. It could be something as simple as this person has already made  plans, or maybe the other person isn’t ready to be with someone on  Valentine’s Day, since the day comes with a lot of expectations.
Getting a gift: What if you two do get together that day — should  you bring a present? “It’s fine to give something small,” Coleman says.  For example, if you know your date collects things with pigs on them,  giving her a pig refrigerator magnet says, “I pay attention to what you  like.” Similarly, if a guy has mentioned that he loves reading Stephen  King novels, picking up the latest one for him is thoughtful, not a huge  profession of undying love. Just remember that you should never give a  gift with the expectation of receiving one in return. Be prepared for  the fact that the other person may not have thought to get you  something, and make sure you can handle that before offering up your  gift. 
When you have been dating for a few months
Planning the day: Sometimes you spend a few months with someone  and you know: “I’ve met The One.” Other times, things are going well,  but you couldn’t say for sure that you would expect to spend the rest of  your life with this person. Nonetheless, if you’ve been going out for a  few months, it is reasonable to expect that you’re going to make plans  to do something for Valentine’s Day. Coleman suggests broaching the  topic lightly: “You could say something like, ‘Valentine’s Day is in two  weeks… do you want to pretend it doesn’t exist or do you want to do  something?’”   
How the person reacts to the idea of spending Valentine’s Day together  is a good litmus test for a budding relationship. It may be an important  occasion for your sweetie… or perceived as a bogus, commercial holiday.  Just another day on the calendar. If your opinions differ, try to  compromise out of respect for each other. “If your date says, ‘For me,  Valentine’s Day has always been kind of hokey, but if it matters to you,  let’s do something together,’ then that’s great,” advises Coleman.  However, if he or she refuses to acknowledge a preference to spend the  day together or refuses to budge from the typical wine-and-roses plan to  celebrate the day, then this couple has more to worry about than what  to do on February 14th. Adds Coleman, “It’s all about how you negotiate  this stuff where you don’t see eye to eye.”  
Getting a gift: No matter how giddy your sweetie makes you feel,  give something meaningful but not inappropriately extravagant. So giving  the sports buff tickets for the two of you to attend a Big 10  basketball game would be wonderful; renting out a skybox at a stadium  and catering it would be completely over the top. Also, giving a gift  that the two of you can enjoy together — tickets to an event, a night  away together — can guarantee more shared good times ahead.  
When you are in an established relationship
Planning the day: A funny thing happens on the way to Valentine’s  Day once you’ve been dating for a long time — people tend to take the  emphasis off of it and treat it just like any other day. Coleman says  that it’s important not to take a relationship for granted at this point  and not making an effort to do something special is a mistake. Take the  opportunity to celebrate together. It doesn’t have to be a classic  candlelit dinner. Maybe it’s going shopping together at your local  farmers’ market and putting together a little picnic while watching a  DVD of a good movie you two missed. Anything that can make the night  about enjoying each other’s company will be a valuable gesture.  
Getting a gift: Probably the biggest minefield when you’ve been  dating each other for awhile is whether or not to get engaged on  Valentine’s Day, a popular time for popping the question. The expert  advice is, don’t give in to the pressure unless you’re really feeling  it. “If there is any doubt in your mind about whether or not proposing  is appropriate, pick another day to ask that question,” says Coleman. 
If you’re not at that stage yet, a gift that shows how well you know  each other’s lives can be wonderful. It may not be the most romantic  thing, but some silk long underwear for a honey who’s always cold or  pre-paid golf lessons for a someone who’s always wanted to learn the  game can be a terrific way to reflect how in touch you are with each  other.